Are you tired of feeling stuck and unfulfilled in your life? Have you tried everything the law of attraction gurus have told you to try, but you're still struggling to manifest your deepest desires? You're not alone. I've been there time and time again.
Manifestation has been a buzzword since it was popularized by the film The Secret in 2006. However, despite many people's best efforts and research that validates manifestation's potential, it doesn't always seem to work.
In fact, only 28% of Americans who believe in the power of manifestation actively practice bringing something tangible into their lives. So if you're part of the majority who finds themselves frustrated and discouraged by your healing and manifestation journey, you're not alone.
Read on to learn some of the most common reasons I see clients get stuck in the process of manifestation and gain practical tools to get unstuck and become a part of the 28%.
Toxic Empathy & Trauma: Manifestation's Kryptonite
The whole premise and teaching method of the law of attraction is to “feel what you want.” This is a challenge for empaths and individuals who have suffered chronic adversity and trauma. You see, when we experience trauma or take on other people's trauma, which is often the case with toxic empathy, our nervous systems can become dysregulated. We become hyper aware of threats or perceived threats resulting in us living in a constant state of fight, flight and freeze.
Most healers, law of attraction experts and mindset coaches don't address the impact our nervous system has on our ability to regulate our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Because the brain is designed to keep you safe and conserve energy, it's going to default to doing the things it's already done to keep you alive. It doesn't care if it's been bad for you or how it makes you feel. To be brain, if it keeps you alive, it's good enough.
It's kind of hard to “feel what you want” and take inspired action when your brain and your body's chemistry are working against you, isn't it?
Good news is, that with the right guidance and support, you can overcome the impact your subconscious trauma and wounding might have on your manifestations.
Addressing the emotional and energetic blocks that may be holding us back requires a holistic process, one that supports healing in the mind, the heart, the body and on a soul level.
This can be done through various techniques, including therapy, energy work, meditation, and somatic practices, but it is important to note that as long as we are only “spot” treating our trauma, it has the tendency to block us from manifesting our deepest desires. That's why we believe in approaching the healing process through a signature method we refer to as, Trauma-Informed Mind-Body-Spirit Integration.
Healing from trauma takes time and patience, however, working through our trauma, including the trauma we've inherited from our ancestors, is the best way to ensure that we are regulated enough to spot self-sabotage, focus on our desires and take inspired action towards them.
Lack of Clarity: The First Step to Manifestation
One of the most significant reasons why manifestation may not be working for you is a lack of clarity. When you don't have a clear vision of what you want to manifest, or your desires are actually deeply rooted in feelings of scarcity or “not enough” you cannot attract it into your life.
When you are clear about what you want to achieve, you are able to focus your energy and attention on that goal, which can help make it more likely to come to fruition. The ability to clearly articulate your desires, goals, and intentions in a way that is detailed and unambiguous is an essential part of the manifestation process.
Having this level of clarity also helps you to identify any limiting beliefs, negative thought patterns, or emotional blocks that may prevent you from manifesting your goal. It also requires you to have a deep sense of belief and trust that what you want is possible for you and something you deserve, hence why addressing your baggage was number one on our list.
To achieve this level of clarity, you need to ask yourself some very important questions about what it is that you really want, i.e. how you want to feel and what your ideal life might look like. A simple place to start is by imagining how you would show up, in a world where all of your resources are taken care of. Who would you be if the only thing you had to do was to show up 100% as yourself? What would life look like for you if it was safe for you to be you and your only job was to be happy?
Inaction: The Stop Sign for Manifestation
Another reason why most people don't manifest is that they aren't taking action. Or even worse, they aren't taking aligned action (another topic for another day). The Law of Attraction isn't magic, even when we passively manifest an opportunity, we need to take action to keep it and have it.
The sad truth? Most of the time, people don't even see the green light that's meant to put them on the path towards achieving their manifestation. Why? Because they are so hardwired to spot the pitfalls and threats in life that they can't even see the opportunities. Or worse, the opportunity looks like a threat? We confuse a shot at real love, for another opportunity to be taken advantage of. Or the new career opportunity as a threat to our stability in the home.
Here's the truth. Transformation requires us to be brave enough to feel the fear that is a natural part of change and take action anyways. It doesn't go away. We just get better at navigating it.
You cannot sit back and wait for things to happen. Instead, you need to take proactive steps towards your desires, to let the universe know that you are committed to the manifestation. It's the only way that it will meet you halfway.
This is why it's so important to take small steps every day towards your goals and desires. Pro tip: The scarier it is the better. Think of it as your down payment on the life you're building. Inspired action that's backed by faith builds momentum and creates massive energy shifts that attract more of what you want into your life.
Feeling stuck? Get clear on your desire, get clear on the type of person you might need to be to achieve that desire, debunk your fears, and take aligned action.
Negative Thoughts: The Enemy of Manifestation
Now I know, you already know this. But it's important to address. If you're anything like the smart, driven women who I support in my one-on-one coaching programs, you often confuse negative thoughts for rationalization.
One of the most common mistakes that people make when trying to manifest their desires is focusing on what they don't want. Or avoiding what they don't want. To the resilient gal who has used her logic to get what she wants in life, these thoughts might sound like reason, being “realistic, ” it might even sound practical.
The problem? The law of Attraction doesn't know the difference between positive and negative thoughts. Therefore, if you focus on what you don't want, you'll attract more of it into your life.
If you're one of those folks who struggles to visualize it as if it has already happened, practice using possibility as a tool instead. When you find yourself saying things like you can't or that's not possible, pause and shift your attention to “How might it be possible?” instead.
This simple inquiry shifts you from a place of apathy or fear to a place of willingness, which on the spectrum of consciousness puts you into a state of flow.
A vibration of flow is much better than suffering or getting by to attract more of what you want into your life.
Limiting Beliefs: The Block to Manifestation
As mentioned earlier, our limiting beliefs are a product of our past experiences. These beliefs are part of the programming that shapes how we show up in our lives. They either help or hold us back from our desires.
They're often formed in childhood, but at the risk of sounding “woo, ” yes, they can also be formed in past lives. This is why they can be difficult to overcome. Common limiting beliefs include "I am not good enough/worthy enough, " "I don't deserve to be happy, " and "Money is evil." These beliefs influence how you respond to life, directly impacting what you want to manifest.
Therefore, it's important to identify your beliefs, question them and adopt new beliefs that support you in your manifestation. I often see smart, studious women get stuck on this one when their beliefs are so intertwined with who they think they are and what they value, that rewriting the belief feels like losing a part of their identity.
And the truth is, that's exactly what is happening. If this sounds like you, I want you to remember, you can't create a new life with an outdated version of yourself. What beliefs about who you are, how you're supposed to show up and who you're supposed to be are you willing to let go in order to step into the life that you deserve?
Lack of Gratitude: The Fuel for Manifestation
Gratitude is an important aspect of the manifesting process because it helps to cultivate an abundant mindset. When we express gratitude for the things that we have in our lives, we signal to the universe that we are open to receiving more of the same or better.
It's also a powerful tool that can help to amplify the effects of the law of assumption. According to the law of assumption, our beliefs and expectations about the world determine our reality. Makes sense, considering that our beliefs influence our feelings and our feelings influence our behaviors.
According to this law, we attract experiences that match our vibrational frequency. This means that what we assume to be true about ourselves, others, and the world around us shapes our experiences and outcomes.
Similar to the law of attraction, this law is based on the principle that our thoughts and beliefs create our reality, and that we have the power to shape our experiences through our mindset and intentions.
While the law of attraction focuses on the power of positive thinking and visualization, the law of assumption takes this idea one step further by emphasizing the importance of assuming that our desires will be and have already been fulfilled.
Gratitude works with the law of assumption in several ways. Practicing gratitude is an essential part of cultivating the skills of acting and thinking as if our desires have come to fruition. By practicing appreciation for what is already transpiring in the process, you create a sense of certainty and expectation that your desires are on their way and will in fact manifest. Also, when we focus on what we are grateful for, we are less likely to dwell on negative thoughts or limiting beliefs that can block our manifesting efforts.
Expressing gratitude also shifts your vibration. Because gratitude is associated with a higher level of consciousness, a 540 on the Hawkins Scale, when we express gratitude we raise our vibration, which attracts more positive experiences into our lives.
Impatience: The Pitfall to Manifestation
Some manifestations take time, and this requires patience and persistence. You wouldn't plant an apple seed and expect an apple tree tomorrow, right? And yet, when it comes to manifestation, most people give up too soon because they expect immediate results.
Although the universe works in mysterious ways, there are other laws we need to account for, the laws of physics, for example, the law of cause and effect. The point is not everything can be instant because, similar to any other birth, there is a gestation process. This is why it's important to balance logic, will and faith while trusting that our desires will manifest in divine timing.
Here are a few practical tips to help you cultivate patience:
The key to patience is to accept reality (the facts), while being open to possibility by taking consistent action towards our desires. By doing so, you'll be able to get problems solved more efficiently without creating unnecessary suffering.
Remember that impatience can be like a weed that chokes the garden of our manifestations. It can create a sense of urgency and desperation, which repels the very things that we are trying to attract.
Learn to accept that being impatient can have consequences. Using the analogy of birth as an analogy, imagine a woman who is in labor, eagerly awaiting the birth of her child. Anxious to meet her little one and excited about starting a new chapter in her life, she tries to induce her own labor or starts to push too soon, wanting to speed up the process and get the baby out as quickly as possible. But this impatience can be detrimental. If she pushes too hard or too soon, she risks injuring herself or the baby, or prolonging the labor even further. Your manifestations are similar. Impatience can often lead us to make hasty decisions or take actions that are not in our best interests. When we are feeling impatient, it is important to take a step back, breathe, and trust in the natural unfolding of events. By doing so, we can avoid making mistakes or taking actions that we may later regret.
Take breaks. If you're feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, take a break and do something that helps you relax and recharge. This could be anything from reading a book to practicing meditation. As a good rule of thumb, if you still want to take action within 24 hours, make sure you are in a regulated state.
In a way, impatience is like a form of resistance. It's a signal that we are not fully aligned with the energy of our desires. The key to overcoming impatience in manifesting is to trust the process and let go of attachment to the outcome. We can do this by focusing on the present moment and cultivating a sense of gratitude for what we already have.
Resistance to Receiving: The C-Block of Manifestation
This is tricky because you can consciously want something and still have resistance towards receiving it. I see this all the time with clients who want a romantic partnership or want money, but have many underlying fears and beliefs about what it would mean to actually obtain it. Underlying fears such as rejection, vulnerability, abandonment and losing control.
Talk about fear and how it can create resistance. The Law of Attraction is a two-way street, and you need to be open to receiving what you want to manifest it. So how do you know if you are resisting the very thing that you want?
Observe your thoughts, actions, behaviors and attitudes towards the manifestation. For example: Someone with a fear of losing control may try to control every aspect of their finances or relationships or avoid relationships or financial responsibility altogether. They may also have a hard time compromising or making decisions with their partners.
To summarize, we have to become the energy we want to attract. Manifestation is a powerful tool that can help you achieve the life that you want, but it only works if you learn how to show up as the type of person who is worthy and capable of having it.
This requires clarity, focus, action, and healing so that you're able to foster a positive mindset. It may also require you to make changes in your external reality that block your manifestations– this is the piece that most people struggle with.
Are you ready to stop feeling stuck and start manifesting the life of your dreams? If you're tired of the same old advice about positive thinking or the law of attraction, and you're committed to taking your life to the next level, join me in the Aligned Bad Bitch Bootcamp.
In this signature program, I'll help you transform your mindset, give you the tools to heal your past trauma, and techniques to align your energy with your deepest desires. Sign up today to save $100 on the program and start your journey towards a life of alignment, abundance, and badassery.