"Boundaries," appears to be the new buzzword. Although setting boundaries is healthy when done right, a lot of you are walking around like the Oprah of boundaries.
Understanding the difference between setting a boundary and creating barriers as a result of past wounding is extremely important. One fosters healthier relationships. The other is a self-sabotaging mechanism that keeps you stuck in a vicious cycle.
How do you know the difference between being assertive and being a straight a$% hole? In this video, I expand on some of the key differences. The main difference being that one considers and respects the needs and differences of both parties involved. The other is a subconscious attempt to impose one's beliefs on another.
When we are setting healthy boundaries, we are not attached to a specific outcome. It's not about what you can get out of the situation, it's not about mandating you get what you need and deserve. It's about giving each other the freedom and the space to communicate your truths while creating an environment of compromise.
I'm not talking about compromising your values or needs. It's about giving each party involved an opportunity to honor each other where they are. This means peace is the priority.
A healthy boundary's main priority is the highest good of all parties involved. That means that when you're setting a boundary, you're respecting your truth and the parties involved.
Sometimes, especially as we're evolving, especially as we're growing and becoming "new and improved" version of ourselves, someone else's truth no longer aligns with our own, and that's when we have to make the tough calls. This isn't about manipulating someone into a agreeing to give you what you need. This is about being clear about what you need, being willing to communicate it to those involved and giving them the opportunity to meet you where you are.
Want to learn more about the difference between a boundary in a barrier? Check out my blog post on "How to Set Boundaries Without Hurting Your Relationships."